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Hiring a coach is half the equation; being coachable is your part

Miscellaneous / 19 December, 2019 /

By Stéphane Aubé

Before you read this article, you need to be ready to hear some hard stuff and truth about you or your human compatriots. This article is not intended to insult anybody, but to make a statement of the actual coaching industry. It’s very easy nowadays to have access to a coach. Anybody can declare himself a fitness coach with a weekend certification. It’s not my main point in this article.

Today, I want to talk about the other half of the problem — the client. Maybe you, or someone you know. And I want you to be very open by reading this because the only purpose of this article is to make you realize that hiring a coach worth nothing if you are not ready to be coached

We live in a strange and contradictory time. While the weight loss industry generates an average of $ 20 billion a year, we are bombarded with fast food advertising. Despite all the money generated by the fitness industry, the growing number of obesity cases is not improving.

And the situation is not better even for those who want to gain muscle mass, a majority of people come to consult our services and wonder why they can not get gains even after several years of continuous training? 

However, it’s not the information available that is scarce. I would say that more than ever, people come with knowledge far beyond what is necessary to get results. In fact, little knowledge is needed to obtain results from a training or nutrition program. The answer lay much more in the application than in the understanding of the scientific aspect.

But still, getting a coach to lead us is now popular. So why with a historical record of people making a living out of the fitness industry; are we still unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel?

 

You rationalize your own behaviour by avoiding blame

 

I’ve taken the time to analyze several factors in the last 15 years in this environment, and what I conclude is entirely behavioural and straightforward. The fundamental reasons are practically not related to training and the food program but instead to what I call our “avoidance strategies.”

For example, who wants to admit that he does not train hard enough? Nobody. Nobody in a conversation will start by saying, “I don’t train hard because I don’t have the courage to face the level of pain required to have results. I instead prefer to find justification on which I can bear the blame and thus feel better with myself. “

The human being is excellent at rationalizing his behaviours. Whether good or bad, right or wrong, one day or another, you will always find a way to streamline your actions to feel better about yourself. This is where a vast majority of your lack of results; lay not only in life but in almost every sphere of your life. 

To put it simply, we lie to ourselves. You apply your training program to the extent that it does not exceed your degree of tolerable discomfort. This line is yours, and the moment you are not ready to cross this line, it is unlikely that you will gain significant gains. When you received your food plan, you may have decided to change some foods, and even knowing that the calories are not equivalent and that this is a change that will have a negative impact on your diet, you will ignore this message that your conscience sends you (we are also good at ignoring our awareness).

You justified this food gap with pizza and beer this weekend since it was the birthday party of your best friend. Everyone would do it, so why not me? Whether you are right or not, or whether it is a way for you to keep in touch and walk with a tolerable reality, the fact remains that you have been outside the boundaries of your plan and that reason you did it is of little importance, and your body does not care. If you give him the chance to gain weight, he will do it no matter how noble you were to cheat.

The best advice I can give you is to face who you are and stop justifying your actions. Be honest with yourself. You are not unique, and if everyone has to pay their dues to succeed and arrive at something, you too must do it. The belief that you can get there by turning the corners round is a lack of respect for anyone who pulls their heart out at work.

Analyze your deep motivations and stop always asking your coach to change your menu because it doesn’t motivate you, or trying to find a quick fix, or look for a new miracle supplement. Face the music and put yourself on the spot for real. If you don’t succeed, this is an excellent time to ask yourself the real question: What are you looking for in this process of physical change? Are you looking for improvement, or are you looking for a new social status? Are you looking please other people? Are you trying to fill your lack of confidence?

 

Get your shit together and deal with it before hiring your coach

 

We have identified that the human being is excellent at self-lying and that it’s going to be that way even to achieve goals, ‘human too often chooses to avoid obstacles rather than confront them. Now comes the saviour of all your problems, the one who will show you the light and answer all your questions: The coach.

So, a lot of people hire their coach, hoping that everything will go well as he can show them the way, give proven training plans, and a customized diet that will solve their problem. In short, to simplify everything, a motivation shot. And the words are right, not only do you expect your trainer to tell you what to do, but most of you hire a coach to get motivation?! Let him tell you that you are capable? That you can do it and not let go? Wouldn’t it be more of a need for serious validation?

I mean, after all, a coach is only another human filled with problems like you who has no more or less value, so no power to decide if what you are doing is right or wrong. Your coach should be the one who will help you put together a strategy to achieve your goal as much as it is realistic. Going beyond that is psychology, and I don’t think your trainer is qualified to handle that.

In fact, my main point here is to tell you that your coach is a useless investment if you do not solve your problems before. Worse, a good coach will put the reality in front of you and tell you the real things. But if you do not settle what holds you back from being a version of yourself lending it forward and changing, how are you going to perceive what it is going to tell you? That he is not listening to your needs? That he has no consideration for your situation? Worse, he has not individualized, and he treats you like all those other customers?

You see, when I hire a coach, I expect that I will be a customer, among many others. I hope to build my strategy according to my goal, and within a defined time frame, we will review the plan together to adapt it to the results achieved. 

Its purpose is to plan the strategy according to my needs and possibility. Not accordingly to my emotional and relational problems. This part is for you to do before contacting a professional.

If your doctor tells you that you have lung cancer and you need to stop smoking for the treatment to be effective, are you going to do it? Probably, finally, I hope. In this situation, he did not calm you down morally or try to deal with the emotional problem that you started to smoke and that you have trouble to stop. His treatment is simple, stop smoking, and treat cancer.

So why do you expect your coach to treat something other than your training or diet? What’s emotional, you have to manage it or get some specialists to help you do it. In a favourable situation, I deal with clients in a super emotional state, and they are always clients and have resulted because our relationship is dedicated to the work for which they committed me, and we can we devoted to the useful task for our purpose.

 

Place yourself in a situation where you are ready to be pushed out of your comfort

 

Of course, as mentioned earlier, the recipe is to always push a little more, than the limit of your comfort. So be it that you must not only be physically ready for this adversity. This will require you to pay attention to your recovery, structure your sleep, your meals, your surroundings, your outings, in short, make room to apply the strategy that will be determined, and be able to place you first.

If you already have it over your head with your schedule, family, work, stress everywhere at the same time, and you are practically losing your hair; it may be time to review how you can position your training at through all that. Take the time to create a solid structure that you will be able to present to your coach, and he/she will be able to create a much stronger plan for you, and on the one hand, to expect you to perform it without putting additional stress. 

Be ready to review your own beliefs. If you expect it to perform only what you want, you will not go far. The trainer will test you and try to work where you need to improve. If you are not ready to walk in these areas, pass your turn. The best training I had in my life was always done during times when I was totally out of habit or pushed into areas that proved to me that I was enjoying myself. In comfortable training programs. A good training plan will allow you to see your next weeks of training in another eye. But the most important thing is that you owe it to yourself to play the game. Do the program with the maximum of your abilities and give a chance to the method used to make its effect.

If you can’t apply what the coach is prescribing to you, see what you can before starting the process, do Tetris with your life, and contact your coach once you are structured.

I hope you’re not going to throw stones at me, but if you feel insulted or frustrated about this article, then throw me your insults. I can take it. My only goal is to awaken people’s minds to make your investment as profitable and satisfying as possible. 

 

Stéphane Aubé

Written by Stéphane Aubé

Stéphane Aubé has worked in the fitness industry for more than 12 years. He works as a trainer and advisor for Hungry For Victory, a company he founded which specializes in nutrition and physical development for athletes of all disciplines. He has wo…